Version 2.0

Hello, and welcome to my second attempt at keeping a blog.

My first blog lasted for over a year - between early 2005 and late 2006 I wrote regularly, before a change in my work commitments left me with less time and inclination to write. If you hunt around online long enough, you might still be able to find my previous efforts. I wouldn't bother though - it's pretty painful reading. Not because it's badly written (although there are definitely some entries of which that could be said) but because I was in such a bleak place during the time I was writing it. Reading it back now (which I don't recommend) I don't know which is my stronger reaction - anguish at the despair I was feeling, or embarrassment at the self-pitying tone of much of it.

I'm in a better state of mind now. The dark clouds are still around, but they don't have the hold on me that they once did, so this blog should hopefully be more upbeat than the last one was. My intention this time round is for blogging to be a means of streching my creative muscles - even when I was depressed I found the act of writing constructive and rewarding - and to provide me with a space (and a reason) to reflect on what's going on in my life, and where I'm at right now.

The start of 2011 sees me 'in Limbo' in some regards. In May last year I resigned from my job, and I spent the remainder of the year living in a religious community. I'm not sure where I go from here - I've just started looking for jobs to apply for, but as I don't really know what I'm looking for it's not an easy process.

But in other respects, I feel like I'm in a really good place right now. Getting away from the world of work - and city living - and consumerism - has helped me to strip away lots of unhelpful thoughts and ideas that were governing my life and contributing to my ongoing depressive thoughts. That's not to say that all my mental issues are sorted out, or that everything's going to be plain sailing from here - in particular, low self-esteem is something that I'm still banging my head up against - but it feels like I started to get a lot of things straightened out during my time out, and I'm ready to move on with life. I don't know where I'm going, but at present that's something that excites me more that it scares me.

So, 2011 and the future beyond - let's see what you're made of.